Cameron

I hate meeting clients in public places. Especially coffee shops. Whenever I would get ready to leave the house, I could hear my heart racing, pumping blood through my body faster than putting clothes on requires. It's like someone knocking on your door in the morning, telling you to get up and do something, when really you don't want to.

I always imagine all of the possible outcomes and plan my actions ahead (which sometimes leads to heightened anxiety) so that I'll know what to do. In the process I would even practice the hand gestures (not the sexual ones) and I would mouth the words I would say when I meet him. This is usually a bad idea because then I start to think even more like "what will I say if he speaks German?" and "what if he's an undercover cop? do I feign feigning a previous arrangement?"
I left the house with a translator just in case.

Cameron was to meet me at a Pete's coffee at 10 on a Saturday morning. Once there, I look around nonchalantly to see if I can spot him. He didn't send a picture but he had mine, so he should be looking for me as well. Nothing happens. I sit down behind a man wearing a white jacket. I realized I sat down in an empty table at a coffee shop without getting coffee or a newspaper. I should have brought my laptop so I could be one of those laptop people--no. He'll never notice me if I have a laptop. I was about to buy coffee until I realized my breath will smell. I purchased iced tea and sat back down at my empty table. A man comes in and looks around. He approaches the woman sitting next to me and embraces her with a hug. I wonder if they met online as well. Or maybe they haven't met at all, but they shared a moment of love at first sight and just had to approach each other. I grab a newspaper from the front. It was the daily news. I read my horoscope. It read

"Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
As the day progresses, you might become weary
of your worldly responsibilities and long for some peace and quiet away from
others. Although you truly desire solitude, you are not particularly lazy
now. Others may not be able to see how much energy you are actually
expending, for you may limit your activity to the realms of imagination
and fantasy. This is not a waste of your time; what you dream about
today may happen tomorrow.".

I didn't see the connection. 30 minutes pass. I get tiresome. The people who previously embraced leave the store together, but then walk in separate directions once out of the store. a few more people leave, while a few more enter. It becomes 10:45. My tea is done, and I've read the parts of the newspaper that interest me. I begin the countdown. Whenever I meet a client somewhere and they don't show up I start a countdown to when I get up and leave. Ten minutes. The man with the white jacket takes his paper and leaves. Nine minutes. Another man with a dog comes in. Eight minutes. My iPod dies. Seven minutes. A bunch of little girls with soccer outfits come in with an older woman and orders hot chocolate. One of them burns their tongue. Four minutes. I stare at my watch, which makes it go even slower. Three and a half. I throw away my cup and fold the newspaper gracefully. A few more people leave. Someone honks outside. The girls are gone. I tie my shoes. Shit. I'm late. Its 11:01.

So it turns out the man really did show up. He replied "I saw you. You were really cute. Almost too cute. I didn't approach you because I got embarrassed. I was the guy in the white jacket."